I guess it's a bit strange. I mean, if I wanted to keep something totally private, the internet is the last place I'd hide it.
However, when I moved on to Blogger, I moved from secret entries to a whole blog devoted to things I wanted to write about yet not declare to the world. Granted, two people have access to it, but they mostly don't talk to me about what I write there unless I talk about it first, which is all good. And if ever somebody manages to stumble upon it (it's undiscoverable by search engine), there's not much there, not even the address, that could point to who I am, except if you know me really well. And if you knew me really really well, I wouldn't mind if you found it as it's quite nicely written, if I do say so myself. Kaine sort of wrote about it here.
Then there's this little red notebook I carry with me everywhere. I very regularly get ideas that I think are pretty good, then they disappear once I get home and sit down to type. It sucks, and so in August 2009, I decided to get a pocket-ish-sized notebook. I originally wanted a moleskine, but deemed 800 pesos too expensive for random shit. So I went and got a brand that was similar and had the same paper quality for 200. It was really convenient to finally have something to put stuff in whenever my brain itched. I draw terribly, but since the pages are unruled and sometimes I can't convey something with just words, I try images. I also stuck the tickets of all the theatre stuff I watched in '08-'09 into it. I have it by my side whenever I'm watching/reading something new. It's pretty random, haha, but it contains most of the weird (and sometimes rather scandalous) thoughts that run through my head in the times I don't have access to a computer.
It's still not completely free, though. When I was a kid, I used to keep diaries that I thought intensely personal, but certain people always, always managed to find them and would read without permission. Sometimes I'd catch them laughing over the journals. Can you imagine how I felt about that? : ( I keep the red notebook with me almost 24/7, but I still kind of live in fear of someone invading my privacy like that again. Especially since the things I write nowadays didn't even cross the mind of my 9-13 year old self.
And so, I have a private Tumblr thing called "it's just you and me, love". No one but me has access, as it only exists on my dashboard, and has no independent web address. In it, I keep things that I want to remember, but I don't want any other person to remember me by. In it, I am not compelled to be a good writer, or to present myself well, I just share and ramble and flail around and go back to read it again and again. It's a bit like having a nice chat with several selves. Sometimes I go back to an entry and don't really remember having written it. It's really interesting. Haha.
So why this love affair with hidden, private things? I used to say that I don't care what people think about me. Sure, I don't care what random strangers on the street think about what I'm wearing. I don't care about what mere acquaintances think about my strange little habits.
The people I actually like are a different story. I only have three friends in the world that I feel like I can share 99% of everything with, but I have other friends too, and I actually really like them. I just don't know what they'd think of me if I told them the things that I write in the secret places. But I can't keep those things just inside, either. Probably because, strange and wrong and somewhat scandalous they are, I don't want them to die with me. Even if I do not declare these things to any sentient being, somewhere, I have given the mists in my head some sort of form.
I declare them to the universe.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!